Empty Paper

This I scrawled unusually for me pencil on paper. And quickly – not so much a flash fiction (which may be short but long in the making)  but like a speed-date or speed-chess, without pausing for reflection or breath. A flash in space yes but in time also.

And does it show I wonder – should I have as quickly scrunched it up and directed it toward my waste-paper bin…

Paper. Empty. Virgin. No ink soil. Infinity beckons.

Promises. Everything. Anything, something.

Too soon thoughts scrawled upon it

Some promises awaken, the rest cast aside, for another time, perhaps

The first thought has escaped me and become word. The first to be read, to be heard.

Momentum tumbles along the rest

One thing led to another

To a conclusion that sought itself out

Beyond my imagining

Words

rushing gushing

stumbling fumbling

stalling walling (writer wailing, if without words)

then up and over to the final full stop.

Feelings and thoughts released and relieved.

Yet always a little haunted, that once again I disappointed, the promise of that empty page.

6 thoughts on “Empty Paper

  1. This was wonderful, Sam.
    It does feel different to show some kinds of writing, doesn’t it? On my blog, when I post certain poems or bits I really feel something about, I always freak out a little just after pressing “publish.” (Sometimes, I even disable comments because I just can’t bear to hear it.) I don’t think that means I’ve made a mistake. I think when I really, really care is when I am learning something, challenging myself, and my heart is involved. The heady pieces are always fun, but the other things are really important.

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    • Thank you so much Anna. Okay these responses have far exceeded my expectations and I may become unbearably cocky now!

      I have not shared a poem online before and it is not a form of writing I have much experience of doing – I love the idea of poems but find them very difficult in practice (even to read, nevermind write!) – so I was ambivalent to hit the publish button as though intrigued as to what the feedback might be I was also worried that I might be inflicting a wordsoup on my readers and that is about the worse thing you can do as a writer.

      Negative criticism of your creations is not easy to hear – even if you sense it is justified it is very difficult to absorb!

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  2. I loved the ‘rushing gushing/stumbling fumbling’ – that was great.

    NO you shouldn’t have just tossed it. This was good. It was a bit confused but not in a way that is mentally confused, more in a way where you just can’t settle – there’s momentum and conclusion… & I loved the thoughts released & relieved. I agree that one heaps 🙂

    A good read from the mind of Sam Flowers! N’n.

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    • Thank you Noeleen for your thoughts. I posted this with much trepidation – would it be met with a deafening silence that spoke loudly?! My subbers too polite to say anything critical, to cough nervously and move on!

      But no reward without risk. No reward even with risk for that matter but let us not confuse myself!

      Like

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