Oh My God.
Oh. My. God.
Would you believe that? Would you?
Would you Adam and Eve it? I do not believe that.

I don’t believe my ears! No Way! I don’t care what you say. I don’t care. What you say?

What the Fuck? Really? You’re kidding me? No way. Yes way? No fucking way.

What the Fucking Fuck! FYI. Oh my God. Oh My Fucking God.
WTF. That was like, rhetorical!

Words fail me.


Get out of here!

Oh My God.

Oh. My. God.


Fan Fiction Unrestricted

I recently posted about a piece of inadvertent fan-fiction I had created. I posted it on the fiction site Wattpad.

Due to some of its contents being of a sexual nature – very mildly and allusory it must be said – and they having a Ratings system I self-classified it as PG-13. (Parental Guidance 13 and under). It is even possible that I should have used their R classification which is their Adult/18/X-Rated equivalent. They’ve not said anything to me anyway!

What I had not realized was that by doing so the piece is not only restricted on Wattpad but it means if you are not registered with them you can not see it at all. In retrospect this does make sense as otherwise how would they tell the age of you reading it!

In effect therefore it is hidden away from the web.

And means that the link I provided in my post would have taken you to content you could not see unless you were prepared to register with the site. Not what I was intending at all.

So I shall shortly be publishing it here without restrictions. Although I wonder if WordPress should have an age-classification system. That was rhetorical wonder! As that’s a whole hornets’ nest I do not want to stir up here!

Tiny Furniture: Art Imitating Art

Lena Dunham is all about these days.

There is Girls which she writes, directs and acts in. She likely does other things in it too.

By way of familiarising myself with her and some back-story I watched a 2010 film she also wrote, directed and acted in, Tiny Furniture.

Like Girls it is documenting her life as lived. In this case as lived in 2010 in New York, just come out of a relationship of three years, recently graduated college and wanting to be an artist and needing jobs in the meantime to support that. Familiar enough tropes right? Okay I just wanted to write tropes in a blog post and promise not to do it again!

She is also living with her sister and mother whilst doing that.

And her sister is a poet. And her mother an artist photographer.

But her sister really is her sister, Grace Dunham. And Grace Dunham really is a poet.

And their mother really is their mother, Laurie Simmons. And Laurie Simmons really is an artist photographer.

And the film is so named Tiny Furniture because the mum photographs tiny furniture. And she does so in real life.

The family parallels do end there though. Her husband, their father, is the artist Carroll Dunham and he is not featured in the film. Or if he is I did not see him, though I would not know him if I did see him! Hmmm. Anyway.

Here are some of Laurie Simmons’ photographs of tiny furniture.

Laurie Simmons Long House

Long House (Downstairs Kitchen) 2004

TV Room Laurie Simmons

Long House (TV Room), 2004

Red Bathroom Laurie Simmons

Long House (Red Bathroom/ Blue Figure), 2004

Blogs Aloud

A tributary post and poem of mine in June 2012 to Mancunian Punk-Poet John Cooper-Clarke, The Jaundiced Junket, led several commenters (Anna from The Girl in the Hat and Daniel from Being Sixteen) to suggest that they would like to have heard me read the poem part of it.

I responded that I would give it consideration but subsequently no such reading materialized. This was not however from disdaining the idea. I did create a recording on my mobile phone of another fiction post, Because I Can, where I adopted a rather sinister tone in the voice of its sociopathic subject but was not entirely happy with it – on the playback I could hear my chair squeaking and at another point I began childishly corpsing!

But I had only considered the reading aloud of my blog posts for my fiction pieces – poetry and stories as much to be heard as read, and then there is the element of performance. That I could sit in front of a camera with or without props and perform the post.

I had not considered it for my non-fiction posts and so I thought why not for all of my blog-posts?

Perhaps there is an audience out there for writing but only in audio form, their reading skills may be lacking, English is not their first language, they have dyslexia…

And in this increasingly busy time-poor era it may be a more convenient way to digest blog posts and indeed any writing – easier on the go being imbibed through the ears than the eyes. I should have podcast versions perhaps. And you also?

But how clear and engaging is my spoken voice? Will others find it dulcet or a drone. Perhaps arising from it I will find lucrative work doing voice-overs for more-money-than-sense ad-agencies. You can see it does not take much for me to get carried away with an idea!

And not just read our own blog posts aloud but the posts of other bloggers – a kind of audio re-blogging?

So expect an audio post, whether of new content or old content, within the next week. Just as soon as I have figured out the WordPress technology!

Pay Per Post

If you had to pay to read this post then would you? Is that a Yes I am hearing? No! Oh well!

I expect of you your time, your energy, your attention, your engagement and if you also blog likewise you of me?

But no filthy lucre shall change hands between us!

If we were to place our blogs beyond a paywall our viewing figures would likely fall off a precipice. We would very likely be left writing to ourself. Or we might fear.

But how about it on a per-post basis? If prior to publishing there is an option for us to ask for a payment for the post to be read in full? We can still ignore it and publish it free as per usual, acknowledging that in the main we blog just to be paid in Likes, Comments, Social Media shares and general Karmic good-will.

But if sometimes we could ask for cash?

I thought I would start a post about in on the WordPress Support Ideas forum – see screenshot below. As I write this it has already received one very brusque and dismissive response so perhaps I have not struck the chord that I thought I may have, but clearly such a sample of one is no guide either!

Wordpress Forum payment proposal

If you would like to see the post on the forum itself then click here.

I would be interested in any of your thoughts, here or there!